Jim Henson died, yet you continue to live...

Yeah, that's right -- you. What have you done for humanity lately? Have you revolutionized a flaccid, bottom-ranked entertainment category such as puppetry and as a result entertained millions of children who had the misfortune of being born sometime between 1969 and 1980, being one of the few providers of progressive children's entertainment in an era when most adults were more interested in key parties and having abortions?

The point of that run-on sentence is to highlight my rediscovery of the genius of Jim Henson. As a general rule, I either don't care or actively cheer on the death of celebrities, but I distinctly remember my sadness that dark day in 1990 when a cruel god chose to take this -- by virtually all accounts -- warm. likable man and allowed the likes of Karla Homolka and Bob Saget to remain. Moreover, to leave behind a vacuum in children's entertainment that would be filled by the likes of the Teletubbies, SpongeBob, and, hell, the people at the helm of the Muppets today (more on them later).

Now, I realize that there is a stage in most everyone's lives when they're destined to say lame things like "They just don't make (insert indifferently-produced, mass-marketed product here) back when I was a spoiled brat who made my parents wish for a retroactive abortion every day." But in the case of the Muppets, I think it's the truth. Every new kids' television or movie fad I hear about always seems to throw in some kind of stupid pop-cultural reference or two to keep long-suffering parents entertained.

But with the Muppets, I remember virtually every adult in my young life being as enthusiastic or more than I was. In fact, it was sometimes a little embarrassing and even unsettling to witness the enthusiasm one uncle of mine, normally a fairly gruff and frightening man, had for The Muppet Show. This wasn't strictly children's entertainment -- it was FAMILY entertainment, made with heart and integrity.

Best of all, Henson had a way of speaking to the hyperactive child (and the hyperactive children in adults) without lowering their future GPAs and forever dooming them to state universities and community colleges. Does anyone remember the short-lived character Harvey Kneeslapper on Sesame Street? He was the crazy, cross-eyed guy who went around pasting numbers and letters on other Muppets' heads while laughing maniacally. That guy ruled.

But now the Muppets are yet another registered trademark of the cold, heartless Disney corporation -- another company that has sold out the vision of its late founder by consistently turning out substandard product (ever watched one of those straight-to-video sequels like The Little Mermaid 2? Don't.). It's weird -- even I was a kid I was scared to think of how Disney would declaw and genericize the Muppets (yes, I was a lonely and strange kid) and that was before the company really started to go downhill.

But then again, there's no telling whether or not Henson may have sold out his own vision had he lived. Look at George Lucas for example -- it's hard to believer that a guy so skilled at making all kinds of movies (old-fashioned action adventure such as Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark, teenage comedy with American Graffiti and biting satire with THX 1138) is the same guy who misfired -- and still came up roses financially -- with the mediocre-at-best Star Wars prequel trilogy. But you know what? All we Gen Xers who clamored for an extension of the SW series so we could relive our lost childhoods deserved what we got and, with exceptions such as this one, I for one have lived in the present and towards the future ever since making that realization.

So in reality, instead of bemoaning the state of kids' entertainment today, I can pop in a DVD of the Muppets and feel grateful that we had such a genius as Jim Henson with us, even if for just a little while. And, best of all, bask in smugness and superiority over all the kids who didn't get a chance to watch such quality programming the first time 'round, because God loves me and hates you.